Easter and me. Me and Easter. Easter and I. yeah that’s correct. We checked into the hotel late in the afternoon. One of those weird places with only one level (on the ground), and it’s always taking verbal abuse from the highway. I talked the guy at the counter down to twenty nine bucks. He seemed to like the haggle; he probably doesn’t get people like us very often. Our room was clean but smelled like stale cigarettes. Fine. Just somewhere to rest. I crashed on the bed and flipped channels for a while. Easter dumped all his stuff on the floor and sat on the edge of the bed. After a while I found myself in that pleasant place between sleep and consciousness. I heard Easter leave the room and found myself thinking that I should go get him or at least watch him, but right about then my sleepy state seemed too sweet and I put it off. ‘he’ll be fine.’

After a while I awoke to a screaming tv. And a groggy head. The sun was starting to set and the room was much darker than I thought it should be. No Easter. I walked out of the room with no shoes or shirt hoping he hadn’t gone off too far. I didn’t have to walk much. On the little bit of grass in-between the office and the rest of the hotel, Easter was playing with a little girl in a sun dress. The sun was finding its way home; giving everything a golden tint. It was still hot though. I sat on the curb and lit a cigarette. I could tell Easter was really enjoying this time with his little friend. He acts so different with kids, like this light goes on in his messed up head. I wish he acted like that with me; it sure would make this trip easier. I could buy some toys like the ones he’s playing with now, but that’s just one more thing to pack and keep track of. After a while the girl’s mom came out and smiled at me. I introduced myself and Easter but he didn’t look up. She said her name was Jeanie and Sara was her daughter. She spoke in a southern accent that bordered a little on white trash. It didn’t matter though; it was the sweetest thing I heard since I left New York. She said Easter was just playing in the grass when they checked in and her daughter just walked right up and offered her toys. They had been playing like that for well over an hour. I smiled and was appreciative she didn’t think him a mentally deranged serial killer. She sat down next to me and we watched our little family; her beautiful daughter, my retarded brother, and a pink toy Volkswagen beetle.

recommended mp3 - dashboard confessional - jamie (weezer cover)

these days rush on. weeks turn into months and my life passes before my eyes. literally. i'll be halfway through my twentys soon. i try to slow down the days. i look for four leaf clovers and take naps on the trampoline. i read books under trees on nice days. i talk late into the night with good friends and bad coffee. and time goes faster yet. the harder i try to slow down the faster everything goes. trips slow things down. NYC awaits me patiently. i'm excited. but i can't mistake leaving for living. i've made that mistake before.

recommended mp3 - herman jolly - windless

when the lights go down and the curtain goes up
our hearts raced with anticipations
wow us. make us forget. make us feel.

there once was a family with two brothers.
the older was like his father. he achieved much throughout his life. the younger achieved little. the elder had speech team finals and business degrees. the younger had pills and alcohol. and all the townsfolk said 'why can't the younger be more like the older?' and the townsfolk said 'he's just wonderful.' after a long time both brothers passed away. shortly after many things were revealed about both brothers. somethings were shocking. somethings were devastating. the townsfolk talked for years about the hidden life of the older brother. there was much speculation as to why he did such bad things. noone suspected themselves, but then again noone ever does.

then the curtain closed for the last time, never to open again.
the actors retired to their homes, the audience seeped into the night.

please save your applause for the end of the show.

my resting hope lies with the one who changes night to day
my resting peace the same
my resting hope lies with the one who takes my sins away
my resting joy the same

recommended mp3 - gary jules - mad world

a good person is someone who hasn't been caught.

recommended mp3 - aimee mann and michael penn - reason to believe (springsteen cover)

i read death of a salesman today. its allright. freaked me out a little, thats usually a good thing. not that it was scary but its characters and story haunt you a little. thats great if you can do that to the reader. if i ever saw the play i probably wouldn't like it at all since i have everything set in my head. some questions though.
1. Who names there kids biff and happy? those are the worst names i've ever heard, no wonder they're total failures.
2. I guess that was my only question. Biff and Happy????

today's recommended mp3 - damien jurado - windows

i will wait along time for you. see the boxes in the corner there? there holding ribbons you wore in your hair. will you remember to drop a line? nothing changes all the time. i will wait so long for you. i've got my face against the window pane. crying the tears that get lost in rain.