¿y tù? ¿puedes probar el sabor de un rincòn en tù cafè? yo si. de hecho yo pruebo el rincòn donde no hay billete de loterìa que ganò el premio gordo. yo puedo probar en este cafè la sal de una ola que vivìa en la cuidad de Mèxico donde no hay agua. Màs, hay un sabor del sudor de un hombre quien ayuda a las güeras con sus bolsas en Cuidad Juárez.

¿que tipo de café? no sè. pero me gusta. me da gusto que el café sepa a ventana donde podemos ver una mujer buscando a Juvenal Mendoza. el café que sabe del olor de Morelia después de las lluvias. Que tiene claves de los perros ladrando en Ixtlan, o el sonido de la palabra "cloaca."

definitivamente el café es de México y yo sé porque el olor tiene algo de los taxistas manejando en la soledad, y tiene el olor de páginas de los libros que no son míos, pero de Gabriela Mistral.

la leche que uso para aumentar el sabor está de alguna manera en la competiciòn con la leche de Indiana, pero no me importa. Juntos, la leche y café dicen de la sìncope azul y del ladron desfalleciendo dentro de un pozo profundo.

si tu puedes, toma un trago de tu cafè y respira con tu narìz. ¿lo hiciste? bueno, ahora el sabor es tuyo. ¿como sabe? ¿a octubre? yo pruebo una esperanza de una carta que no existe o del granizo que destruyò la cosecha. yo pruebo el ùltimo segundo antes de un accidente terrible en Chihuahua y que no habìa excusas para vivir. el sabor tiene tàcticas y estrategias que no sirven porque avanzamos en zigzag.

y la ùltima gota de mi cafè, con el polvo de mis memorias, susurra-

pero vos

por favor

no te vayas.

de verdad la muerte comenzò dos años despues de comprarla. Un primito pensò que la mochila podrìa llevar su peso. Mi espalda sentìa los rasgones de la costura. Entonces, años despues la cremallera llegò a ser voluble. Y por esta razòn, un tarro entero de Nutella fue destruido en las calles ocupadas de Zurich. Y despues el color se de colorò. Y despues los nombres tambien. los nuevos nombres escritos el excedente se de coloraron los viejos nombres. Los hilos de rosca estàn parados y se mueven como si estuviera debajo de agua. Las monedas caen de los agujeros como agua en una cloaca. Me entristicen, estos dias finales de la mochila.

Cuando el sol se va, las nubes de las noches hacen una cortina gruesa. En alguna parte detras la cortina los mùsicos comienzan a alistarse. Sabemos este porque podemos oir el trueno apacible, y vemos la chispa distante. Cuando la lluvia empieza, las cortinas parten y la orquesta toca sus primeras notas. Hemos tomando nuestros asientos, nuestros corazònes laten con el entusiasmo. La tormenta, como todas las buenos espectàculos, comienza lentamente y reservada.

¨De la nieve como lana
y derrama la ecarcha como ceniza
Echa su hielo como pedazos
ante sufrìo, ¿Quien resistirà?¨

Well then, I will tell you. Alexander, Caesar, Charlemagne and I myself have founded great empires; but upon what did these creations of our genius depend? Upon force. Jesus alone founded His empire upon love, and to this very day millions will die for Him.... I think I understand something of human nature; and I tell you, all these were men, and I am a man: none else is like Him; Jesus Christ was more than man.... I have inspired multitudes with such an enthusiastic devotion that they would have died for me.... but to do this it was necessary that I should be visibly present with the electric influence of my looks, my words, of my voice. When I saw men and spoke to them, I lighted up the flame of self-devotion in their hearts.... Christ alone has succeeded in so raising the mind of man toward the unseen, that it becomes insensible to the barriers of time and space. Across a chasm of eighteen hundred years, Jesus Christ makes a demand which is beyond all others to satisfy; He asks for that which a philosopher may seek in vain at the hands of his friends, or a father of his children, or a bride of her spouse, or a man of his brother. He asks for the human heart; He will have it entirely to Himself. He demands it unconditionally; and forthwith His demand is granted. Wonderful! In defiance of time and space, the soul of man, with all its powers and faculties, becomes an annexation to the empire of Christ. All who sincerely believe in Him, experience that remarkable, supernatural love toward Him. This phenomenon is accountable; it is altogether beyond the scope of man's creative powers. Time, the great destroyer, is powerless to extinguish this sacred flame; time can neither exhaust its strength nor put a limit to its range. This is it, which strikes me most; I have often thought of it. This is which proves to me quite convincingly the Divinity of Jesus Christ.

-Napoleon Bonaparte

and You
being very nature God
poured out your love
even unto death.

what useless tools ourselves.

Since my dad and gramps were leaving two hours earlier, we arrived 3 hours before my flight. The Pensacola airport is small. I listened to a book on tape for a while and read. boring. i ate lunch in a cool cuban restaurant, it was good. picadillo or something, the desire to speak spanish was great when i ordered. But i resisted. tried to sleep after, couldn't. I saw there was an earlier flight to dallas so I asked some lady if i could get on that one. I remembered dallas's airport was real big and with lots of things to do. "no" the lady said, "we have weight issues". I wasn't really sure what that had to do with anything so I asked her "So the answer is no?" she nodded and I realized I made her feel stupid; big man that I am. So i waited more. I checked the screens later and it said both flights to dallas were delayed. I found out there was a storm over dallas with tornados and such. i felt a dread about this. we loaded up though an hour after we were supposed to, the pilot and everybody assuring us that our connecting flights would be delayed as well. The flight was quick, i slept until we were making circles over dallas. The pilot came on and said we have plenty of gas so were just gonna keep on circling around until they say we can land. After an hour he said were gonna go to Tyler, TX. I heard a group of people around me sigh and make sounds of frustration all the while looking out my window and the darkening clouds.

We all sat still and quiet on the runway of tyler texas. Then and there I decided I might as well make this interesting. I asked the stewardess what was tyler texas known for. she said roses. that set everybody talking and getting to know one another swapping travel stories and how much everybody just wants to go home or somewhere else. It was almost 7 now and people were complaining of hunger pains. Some lady from the back of the plane passed out crackers, as they were passed up everyone just took one square. we were hungry but not dying. After another hour I pretty much knew everyone sitting around me. to my left on the seat next to me was a high school girl from denver I gave here a hard time about never skiing or snowboarding before, but really she didn't want to talk much. across the aisle there was a twentish girl from san antonio, she lived in boliva with the peace corps for two years. We talked in spanish for a while and i remembered how easy it is to understand spanish when an american speaks it. she told me she felt bad because she had a boyfriend in boliva that really helped her learn spanish but when it was time to leave she said gracias por total adios. maybe i should get a mexican girl friend to teach me to listen. the lady in front of her listened to us for a while and then told us she teaches in a dual language kindergarten and she told us this in spanish. I was loving it. In the seats in front of me was a grandma and a little girl like 8 maybe. It was the first time she had ever flown, the girl not the grandma. I asked her how planes fly and she told me about thrust which was impressive. After a while they told us we could wait the rest of the time inside the airport. This came to great relief to me since i was hungry. When i walked into the airport i just laughed since it was one room. There wasn't even vending machines. I laid down and tried to sleep. After a while they put us back on the plane to wait. I asked the denver girl if she wanted the window for the way back she said yes and seemed grateful. later we traded songs on ipods. she said mine was strange but hers was just another hip hop song. i'm bored with hip hop. is there nothing to talk about besides how great you are? nothing? We left tyler texas for the last time 40 minutes later and had a rollercoaster ride on the way back to dallas. People screamed. i'm serious. The whole time i could only think about that little girl in front of me, she was quiet. her first flight and first turbulence, did she just accept her death? did the grandma tell she was gonna be ok? that this happens all the time? I wanted to tell her everyone would be ok. after we finally landed in dallas i joked that she would have to pay twice because she got two flights instead of one. but no one laughed as we walked the steep walkway up to dallas fort worth airport.

I knew I would stay the night with in 5 seconds of stepping into the airport. People had already set up camps throughout the airport, there were make shift walls beds and tables. people were watching movies on laptops, playing cards, and doing anything to pass the time. I was placed on the waiting list for the next flight to tucson when I asked the guy what number i was and when i saw him counting with eyes i knew it was a bad sign. once that was taken care of my stomach was wanting some relief. but alas there was nothing open every restaurant closed down for the night. I found a vending machine and wolfed down two snicker bars one right after another. I decided i would walk every section of the airport. And walked in four big circles. circle A, circle B, circle C, and circle D. after circle D I found out there was such a thing as circle E, but decided circle E is not very important. but then i saw something at the end of circle D; a line of people. Where there is a line of people there is usually food or at least a way to get food. I asked the people in front of me what it was and they said TGI Fridays was opening up and you could order food. Then the people front of them said only chicken strips. then the people in front of them said there's another barbecue place opening up in circle C. i went there instead. there was no line at the barbecue place but it was open. I walked up to the counter and asked the guys whats cooking. he said sausage and I turned to leave but not before these other lady's asked if he could just give them the little scraps of meat that lay on the stove. then he did. he picked up the little scraps of meat, put them on a plate, doused them in bbq sauce and gave it to them. They ate it and gave me the plate to eat some more after i had on little scrap i passed it to a guy next to me. he ate the last one and we all just looked at each other aware of what had just happened. beggars aren't choosy. back at the line of tgi fridays I talk to a group of people who were supposed to be at disney world now. sleeping soundly in a hotel bed dreaming of snow white and space mountain. right before i order my chicken strips a group of girls with no shoes on walk out of the place with chicken strips in a plastic bag. the first one out the door however slips on spilled soda, her head smashes hard on the tile floor. it sounds bad but she laughs, her laughter shaking the bag of chicken strips she elevates to protect its precious content. When i finally sit down to eat my chicken strips i mentally try to eat slow but can't just chewing and swallowing and putting more food in and repeating. its now about 1 am and time to bed down for the night. I walk looking for two things, a carpet floor and a darkish area. I find an area that works and using my hoodie and my jacket i make a little fort out of two rows of plastic chairs. I sleep every twenty minutes for 3 hours.

two men loudly talking wake me up at 4 am and i decide to give up trying to sleep. I'm not mad at them because its what we do we talk. we trade stories. and i realize i'm building a story i will tell for the rest of my life. what a gift. I walk and find a place to plug in my phone and have a wonderful devotion time with God. "early will I seek thee, my soul thirsts for thee"

The next morning goes pretty quick. gracias a Dios por ipods, y libros, y personas que les gustan hablar. I don't get the first flight to tucson, but before the second flight leaves they call my name and give me a boarding pass. it takes all the remaining strength I have to restrain myself from screaming in delight. there are some people who will sleep here again tonight.

When i arrive in tucson I practically run out of the airport and feel the sun's rays. its been a long flight.

recommended mp3 - peter bjorn and John - Young Folks.